My two-year-old is a mastermind at creating endless reasons for her bedtime to be delayed. My husband just shakes his head as I herd my postponing savant toward the stairs. I hear his “just put her down and walk away,” words of advice fade as we reach her bedroom. And then the litany begins:
“I want to read a book. Read a book Mommy,” she demands as she dashes for the bookcase. “Sophia, we just read two books downstairs. We’re all done with reading. It’s time for bed.”
While I check her diaper one last time before bed she says, “I have to go potty.” She’s got me trapped and she knows it. I snarl back, “Ok, but no reading, no toys, you have to be quick. This is not play time.” Three minutes later with no sign of potty and one toy request denied, we move back to her bedroom.
Once in the crib, with the blanket closing in on her, she’s suddenly thirsty. “I want milk. Please can I have some milk?” Used to these antics, I bust out a sippy cup that I’ve brought upstairs. Her thirst knows no end – every second of time she gains before lights out is a sweet victory.
“Sing to me.” Turned on her tummy now and tucked in with a blanket, she will not give up. I start to sing and she says, “Sit down Mommy.” “I can’t sit down Sophia, I’m leaving.”
As I sing my way to the doorway, she shouts, “I want Thomas. Please Mommy, can I have Thomas? I want Thomas!” A battle rages in my mind. I’m considering. I’m waffling. I cave. “Alright, I’ll go get Thomas and then we’re done and I’m not coming back!” I slink past my husband, avoiding eye contact, to retrieve her beloved toy.
I know, I know…I am getting played like a first timer in Vegas and my mommy guilt won’t let me “just walk away.” Who knew that I’d be bested by my pacifier-sucking progeny?
And it only gets worse.
At this point our four-year-old expects a massage. Every night. Because one time? When he was having trouble sleeping? I rubbed his back in little circles for 20 minutes until he fell asleep.
And he knows how to ask too. “Mama, I love when you massage my back. It feels so relaxing. And so good.” It makes me want to cuddle him for the rest of the night.
Ah well…they're only young once and soon they'll be slamming their doors to keep us out.
Oh no Mandy, you're supposed to tell me that it gets easier…that it's just a short stage. I wish you lived at my house and would give me a massage every night. That sounds divine!
I wish I could clones myself and give ME a massage every night. Seriously…the kid has it too good.
And I did tell you it gets easier…right around the time they start slamming the door in our faces.
My friend gave her child little tickets or cards. (maybe two). Once they were used up that night–no more requests. You could make a game or system out of it….not sure it works.I suppose another way to approach it would be to reward her for nights in which she does not ask for special requests after the routine is done…
We are working on routines, of course, with Ava, and we have to stick to them like a script. The only exception is if she needs to go potty….other than that, I cannot let her ask for things once I've left the room without it leading to problems. I think it depends on the temperament on the child, though, in terms of giving an inch and taking a mile!
That's so funny because my boys both expect a massage before bed every night too! And they are 3 and a half and 6! But of course, I really have no reason to complain becuz I'm the biggest sucker on the planet. I totally have both of my kids still sleeping with us. I just can't get past how much I love their snuggles still.
You just described an average night with my three-year old – only for the last 2 weeks he's been doing this in MY bed, because he “has a tummy ache.” And his Mommy is a big fat softie.
“First timer in Vegas.” Great line.
My favorite is when they come out, say they need something, but haven't actually PLANNED what they're going to say. Then they're caught in a stammering moment, and you've got 'em!
Partly Sunny – I can totally envision the unplanned “ask” and feel certain it will happen to us once the girls are in real beds.
You'd be happy to know that things are getting better with putting her down. I now warn her that this is her LAST drink and that I won't be bringing milk or water upstairs. I prompt her to select a toy to sleep with before we go upstairs too.
Although now, she's taken to stripping off her footsie pajamas after we put her to bed so she can sleep naked. She loves to sleep naked (with a diaper). Even in the dead of a Michigan winter.
I can relate. We just let him wear down before attempting the night time routine. It's an art, as you know. You can't let it get too late but he forgets to want things when he's full-on sleepy.
I'm admittedly a human pacifier. I love being with my son while he falls to sleep. After we read his book, I stay next to him and read my Nook while he falls to sleep. He likes that I do that. If you offer to read your book too, she'll probably want to go straight to sleep while you do it.
Gotta love em!
Heather, I would get a whole lot of reading time if I did that! Sometimes it takes Sophia an hour to fall asleep. Man, now that I think about it, an hour of reading time sounds divine.
I know this bedtime struggle all to well, my 3 and a half year old have been doing it since she could talk. read me a book, i need water, i have to go pee pee, i didn't hug and kiss you, where is my teddy bear. its endless and no matter how tough i try to be its happens every time.