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10 Reasons Not To Find Out Your Baby’s Gender Before Birth

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If you tell people you’re not finding out the gender of your baby, they might think you’re crazy.

It’s become the norm to find out your baby’s gender before giving birth.

And it’s easy to see the reasons why.

You can decorate the nursery, choose a name, and buy adorable outfits for a little boy or girl.

But there are major benefits to keeping your baby’s gender a surprise, too.

I’ve done it both ways.

We kept our firstborn’s gender a surprise but found out with our second that we were having a girl.

I’m here to tell you that contrary to popular belief, not knowing is so much better.

Related: 3 Reasons to keep your baby’s name a secret

10 Reasons for keeping baby’s gender a surprise

Before you decide to find out if you’re having a boy or girl, check out these reasons why it’s worth waiting!

1. Get the baby gear you need

People can’t resist super cute baby outfits. They just can’t.

And if they know your baby’s gender, you can expect to get about 48 frilly dresses or athletic-themed onesies at your shower. (Your baby will outgrow most of them before they ever get worn.)

But if they don’t know if you’re having a boy or girl? You’re a thousand times more likely to actually get the practical, off-the-registry gifts you really need to prepare for bringing home a little one.

2. No need to revamp the nursery

Planners: I know you really want to find out your baby’s sex ahead of time. But if you create a gender neutral nursery, you won’t have to redecorate when you’re ready to have more kids.

Next time around, you’ll feel so chill knowing you have the biggest baby prep task already done.

3. It annoys your mother-in-law

People won’t believe that you really don’t know the sex of your baby, especially your mother-in-law. She’ll try to get you to spill the beans.

Trust me, there’s nothing like the sheer pleasure of irking your mother-in-law for nine months.

(Fair disclosure: She will even the score once the baby is born.)

4. Have fun with silly games

You get to indulge your crazy aunt’s need to play soothsayer. She’ll hang strings over your belly, read your tea leaves, or ask about particular cravings.

The bonus for you? You get to talk ad nauseam about the ins and outs of your pregnancy.

5. No oopsy returns

That’s right folks, occasionally the medical peeps get it wrong.

It could be a tailbone mistaken for a penis or a butt taken as a vulva or the umbilical cord is getting in the way of seeing what’s what.

How certain your ultrasound technician is depends on the baby’s position at the time the image is taken.

It’s fairly accurate, but not 100%.

But if you wait to find out your baby’s gender, there’s no chance of mistakenly creating a Johnny room only to find out you actually have a Jane.

6. It builds excitement

Bringing a new life into this world is the most exciting thing ever and everyone will be thrilled for you no matter what.

But when family and friends don’t know what you’re having, they’re more likely to pack the waiting room to be the first to hear the big news. 

7. There’s zero disappointment

You can say you just want a healthy baby, but admit it: Part of you is secretly yearning for a certain gender. At least right now.

By waiting to find out, you won’t be disappointed if you don’t get the girl or boy your heart was set on. Gender preferences melt away as soon as you see your new baby.

8. Gives your co-workers a boost

You know your co-workers are looking for an excuse to push off whatever boring assignment is at the top of their to-do list. 

So they’ll be eager to create a baby pool about what you’re having, round up bets and open your email announcement to see who won beer money for the weekend.

9. No arguing over baby names

Do you really want to listen to all the reasons why you should name your little girl after your grandmother Helga? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Not knowing your baby’s gender helps avoid those conversations. We don’t even know if we’re having a girl or a boy yet, grandma.

And even if you have names in mind for a girl and a boy, there are plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t share your baby’s name.

10. It’s one of life’s big moments

The truth is, finding out your baby’s gender in a dark room with a random ultrasound technician is a little deflating.

It’s just not as grandiose as having a baby pulled out you and hearing the doctor say: It’s a…!

I’ve never heard anyone regret waiting to find out their baby’s sex.

And I think that’s because great surprises are few and far between in life, and this is one of the best (if not the best)

Save for later? Share these reasons why you should wait to find out your baby’s gender with other moms by pinning!

Alice

Saturday 9th of March 2019

My children are 32 and 28. We kept it a surprise for baby # 1 and I agree there is nothing like the surprise in the delivery room when they call out "It's a girl" Back in the 80's my gender neutral room was primary colors. A balloon wallpaper border and sweet duckling bedding. We moved to a second home before baby # 2 was born. I was not planning on finding out the gender of baby # 2 either. My 3 1/2 year old daughter was set on a sister and nothing else!!! I thought to ease her into it it would be a good idea to find out. When I told her she was having a little brother she sat down on an upside down bucket and cried and cried.. By time the baby came around she was excited and happy to be having a little brother. For him it was fun to decorate the room. This time in the 90's a cute border with bears waterskiing went up before he was born which did make it easier to have it ready for his arrival home. My german mother in law couldn't quite believe the sonogram results and said to everyone at a get together that she sure hoped it was a boy because if it's not she (meaning me) was going to make him (meaning her son) redo that room!! I still laugh when I think about it. We were all happy either way.

Brittany

Wednesday 3rd of August 2016

I'm a HUGE planner but my husband really doesn't want to find out the gender for our first (not pregnant yet). After giving it some thought and reading this post, I have agreed that i will go through with letting it be a surprise! BUT as a compromise, I am going to buy a few pieces of girl clothing and a few pieces of boy clothing, when I see something i really like. Then, for our second, if it's a different gender than the first we can use that stuff for that baby and if it's the same gender, can always use them as baby gifts. Might sound ridiculous but that's the deal haha. love this post!

Megan

Tuesday 24th of May 2016

I found out the sex for 1 of my 3 children.... and enjoyed knowing a TON more than not knowing! If anyone is like me with hard pregnancy consisting with 4 months of severe sickness, followed with extreme heartburn, dizziness, and complications for the entire duration (for all my pregnancies) you'll enjoy my reason why:

Having established the sex, you can refer to your "it" as he or she. That being said all the hard part of the pregnancy doesn't seem so hard because you have that deeper bond in knowing the sex, and in our case we already had the name picked out as well.

As far as registries are concerned, only register for necessary needs...if people go off the list and buy things you don't want, that's on them, and you can always return and get what you need.

No matter on knowing or not knowing, you'll ALWAYS hear names being thrown at you or criticisms about what you have picked out.

Yes there are only a few surprises in life...but finding out is just as big as a surprise than waiting! Contrary to popular belief, when I found out I was beyond excited and emotional opposed to waiting. When I had both of my "surprise" babies, I was not near emotional because of longer labor and delivery that I think I didn't care at all at that point!

kim

Wednesday 17th of February 2016

I agree with all of them except there better not be people waiting in the waiting room. Birth is such a special time! When my first was born my husband's WHOLE family was there and it made me crazy and mad and I didn't get any quiet bonding time with my son until he was almost 8 hours old. With my second we made sure everyone knew we wanted that first day to ourselves and went to far as to tell the hospital staff that they were to keep all visitors away. It was wonderful!! By day two we were ready for visitors. I'm expecting our third and we will do the same as with the second. No visitors the first day. That is my and my husband's time to bond and rest. It is an extremely intimate time and I want to be able to soak in every minute without having to share the baby with other people who didn't carry it for nine months. We found out with our first two before they were born but we are waiting for this one.

kendrac

Monday 4th of January 2016

I disagree to all of these.. except for #3 I guess. Your mother-in-law may be annoyed because she will want to help you prepare and you're making it more difficult. Regardless if you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks it is still a surprise and your co-workers can still bet up until that time if that is what you are concerned about.. for convenience sake it makes a huge difference. I was lucky enough to find out at 17 weeks and I still needed more clothes.. you can never have enough, plus there will always be someone to give your hand-me-downs to/get them from.